The first night in a new place is always the worst. The brain runs wild trying to grasp its tendrils around the unfamiliar smells, the slow dripping of a rusty tap, and the quiet whispers coming from the walls. My friends, well former friends are all fast asleep, their slow monotonous breathing starting to scratch away at my sanity. I used to silently thank my parents every night for introducing the five of us, for forcing us into play dates when we could barely recognize faces. Now, all I can think of is how different everything would be if I had never met them, where I would be in life if I had simply lost contact with my friends over time. Looking at the situation I currently find myself in, I would be much better off.

It all started a few months ago when one of our friends Jack was murdered. Unbeknownst to me, the rest of the friend group played a hand in Jack’s demise. A court case followed and once it came out that they were the culprits, I got lumped in with them, because the jury thought there is no way I could not have known about the murder and was simply playing dumb during the case.

For most of you, you are probably thinking, I’m writing about this while sitting in a prison cell alongside my “friends“. Sadly you would be mistaken. The punishment for our sins is far worse than prison. We have been tasked with hunting ghosts. I do not know who in their right mind would think ghost hunting is a fair corporal punishment, but here we are on the eve of a first hunt and I feel nothing but pure anger for my former friends, the judicial system, and the government who thinks this is a fair punishment.

We have no idea how long we are going to be doing this for and even if there is an end to this madness but honestly I do not know how much of it I will be able to take. I wish I could say ghost hunting is what I am least looking forward to. It is in fact that I have to spend almost every single minute of every single day of this stupid punishment with those I used to call friends. Kyle, Logan, and Max, fuck you. You murdered Jack, the one person that was keeping this group together as tight as it was and you murdered him.

Part of me wants to end their lives, right here, right now, but what would the point of that be? I would become no better than them. I AM better than them and I will prove throughout this punishment, however long that may be. I will not break. Eventually, the willingness of my body to sleep overcomes the anger and uncomfortable feelings, as I mutter the words; I will not break.